No foolin'

Just phoned a client and her answering machine message finished with, "the better looking you are, the faster the response."

In real life.

Love your DOUBLE S REVIEW.

More so than THE SS.

Peach, don't lose your shit, but it turns out KID CONFUCIUS have made the Australian video of the year (no sarcasm)

It features Victoria Sweetie and Anna Lunoe lol. The thing is though, you have to watch it in its entirety, from start to finish.

I don't want this blog to become as pro-Lil-Wayne-by-default as the rest of the internet, but holy shit his new mix-tape cover

Trivia

I'm ready to help with the sports questions, man.

Let's do(g) it!

Another reason that Karl's amazing

He's not just good at receiving phone calls, he also emails amazing photographs. I now want to own (and breed) foxes. All day long. How much fun would it be? How many puns would be available?!

"Ooops! No, you can't outFOX me there, little fella. Stop weeing inside."

"Time to watch [that movie where he plays an actor researching playing a policeman but during the research actually turns out to be an effective policeman] starring Michael J FOX"

And here's an actual film (that actually got made) starring Big Boi, and Lil Wayne (as himself)

When "street smart" rapper Christopher "C-Note" Hawkins (Big Boi) applies for a membership to all-white Carolina Pines Country Club, the establishment's proprietors are hardly ready to oblige him. Unwilling to accept that the club views him as unfit for membership, C-Note purchases land that contains the 17th green - willing only to exchange the hole for a membership. This sets the stage for an outrageous assault on the country club and its membership committee as C-Note and his fun-loving, streetwise crew disrupt the goings-on at the club with their irreverent attitudes and a back-and-forth prankfest.

At one point, C-Note plans to shoot a music video on the club's land. That leads the Club President, Cummings (Jeffrey Jones), to offer a bribe to get him to stop, but all C-Note wants is a membership to the club. President Cummings then hires Shannon Williams (Tamala Jones), an uptight lawyer who graduated Harvard at the top of her class. She goes to Christopher's house, he refuses yet another attempt to bribe him to leave.

As a last resort, she devises a plan to allow him to join the club then to record him violating the club's bylaws to kick him out while he is on the club's 4 week probationary period. On separate occasions, he is accused of landing a helicopter on the property, bringing a gun onto the golf course and driving recklessly on the way to the golf course. Eventually, all the charges are proven wrong and C-Note is officially made a member of the Carolina Pines Country Club.

So satirising the plots of these types of movies is pretty old, and yet this hypothetical summer blockbuster from The Onion is really lol

Perseverance: A hard-nosed but caring coach organizes a group of ragtag black youths—one of whom is played by a hip-hop artist—into some sort of sports team. Things go badly, then they get better, then there's some racism, then they win state

You know I'm a die-hard fan

But McDonalds' new 'seared chicken' range is a giant misstep in their war on unhealthy. There's something slightly genital-esque about the actual chicken, and the sauce made me gag.

Also, why do they keep debuting new chicken burgers when the (perfect) McChicken exists?

Still hungover?

Are you???

ou can come find me, I will be the one with the very broad shoulders, dark hair and a simple suit. We can have some champagne, you and me.

(I got this from the awesome OHH.com)

Jen Claude Van-Damme needs to stop dying his hair. He looks horrible. That quote is from HERE.

...

How great was last night? I can't believe that Urthboy and Spit Syndicate are going to play at our wedding (only to do one song each, too!). Pretty amazing.

Remember singing 'The Longest Time'? Remember me buying Grainwaves, then forgetting I bought Grainwaves? Remember Santana? Memories...

I miss Conan.

Apparently he had two Finnish guests who came on his show and told him about the Finnish President (below) and how much he looked like her. He got into the idea and said (once he'd found out he was fairly popular in Finland) that if she won her next election, he'd go to Finland. She did win. He did go.

Remember that skit with the previous night's audience getting the 'wrong idea' and it was like Conan was cheating on them? Then he suggests that they 'work it out' with the new audience? I love Conan.

When (if?) we get Foxtel, I will watch it so very regularly.

The memories!

Triumph!

So many great lines...

Why my job is fairly depressing...

ONE OF THE REASONS.

He's called Dark Claw: half Batman, half Wolverine. It's when DC and Marvel did a few comics together. Lame.

Man, I am not very busy. I should be calling utilities and cancelling electricity for Glebe etc., but it'd be too loud; too obvious at work. Instead I read about stupid collaborations of comic book manufacturers and try to not commit heaps of suicide.

...

Oh! Have you seen THIS FILM?

Remember our best friend Girl Talk?

From about one minute 40 in...

"I believe the youngsters call them 'rappers'"

God I love ozhiphop at times like THIS.

The photographer's a douche and everyone involved is taking themselves super seriously.

I'm (going to guest) on one track, and already I'm worldwide

Oh shit... !!!!!

HERE.

Oh shit!

...

P.S. In Buck's night news, I can't believe we did so much amazing shit. I swear I've fractured my coxsix (sp?) too. I'm going to see a doctor. I'm hobbling around hilariously.

Wall ball, laserzone, phoning call, race track, cricket, battling, getting stabbed, skidding, tequila, sangria, Byron Bay lager, battling, embarrassing questions, battling, drinking, Flava Flav, abortive searches for cocaine etc. etc.

It's Peach and Shag

Doing heaps of stuff...

(your go)*



* = despite my writer's block, this track will rule.

I'm back like the Monaco Bar!

How great were Monaco Bars. I think I'm going to get one today to see if they were as good as I remember them.

I also tried Grain Waves. HOLY SHIT. Why does there have to be so much delicious stuff, Googs? Why? Don't they know I'm getting married soon?

Also: 136th post (!)

Time's "50 greatest inventions of '08" is pretty inspiring

And not in that empty 'video message of hope set to restrained piano, possibly directly post 9/11' sort of way. I kept saying "wow!" out loud (true story). My favourite is the Seed Vault, but it's a close race.

You win. I lose

You win.

As your prize: concept art from Tim Burton. It's how he envisaged the Joker.

Hours left to vote: 2

Talespin!

That's what it was called. Wikipedia tells me that my brother's and my favourite episode - 'lost Horizons', about a mystical kingdom known as 'Panda-la' - was temporarily banned for being allegedly racist. Also:



This shit just got real.

Status - Blogging

Like the AUSTRALIAN CRICKET TEAM, my once mighty (blogging) powers are fading...

Who'm I gonna call?
Launchpad McQuack!

Remember Launchpad?

Changing 'lol' to 'haha'? Yeah? nah?

Haha.

Herring-Bone

Days left to vote: 1

Though I'm quietly confident, your extra vote and the "Change your vote" function fill me with unease. I'm a bit of a custard puff atm (which are delicious, ps)

My (fairly crazy) dream (also: Spit Syndicate rules)

Double S rule. What a show.

...

I had the maddest dream last night. It was night time and I was on a bus. It was full. We were being harassed by Giger style aliens. In the dream, I understood that the aliens were going to kill us all and that was going to be it so I went to the entrance of the bus and was like, "fuck it. If we're all going to get killed, you may as well kill me first."

The alien lifted up my rib cage and spit acid saliva on my heart. It (telepathically) explained to me that I'd be dead really fast; the acid's like that. I went back and took my seat waiting for death. Then I waited a little more. I was dying but not dead.

So then I'm like, "look, I'm sure your acid's really great and it works well most of the time and you're great Mastah Killahs or whatever, but I'm dying slowly and painfully here. Just put a bullet through my brain. A bullet. It's not hard. Take out your little gun, pull the alien trigger, and put an alien bullet in brain. Easy. If you're scared it's cool. I'm sure your violent invasion will go great if you're just pussies with slightly acidic saliva."

I was shot through the head three times.

Then it changes. I'm still mortally wounded, but now I'm driving our dinner table (!) back to Greenwich. It's a beautiful day. I figure I'll die at the house I grew up in with family, you see, so I phoned Al and mum and Bill and told them to meet me there.

Then: I bumped into you and Rob. You guys were admirably disappointed about my impending doom, but handled it well. Then you hopped on my car/dinner table and started heading to Greenwich.

I got to Greenwich, had a shower, got into bed, and died.

It was fairly odd.

Burgercon

This is so retarded.

The Hangover

*Hilltop Hoods voice* What a great night!

Highlights include playing 'Substitute' and being asked to "keep it down" and you eating octopus for the first time.

As a result, though, I am profoundly hungover. I did go to boot camp today, but I am still mad hungover and desperate for some fat and salt. So here's the plan:

and

and

and

I feel a bit bad that I'm supporting the system and dirty, greedy fatcats but I am fairly hungry. And super hungover.

Brother Ali track about Obama

HERE.

Listening now. It could be fucking lame. It could be OK.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

Seen the polls?

.

nothing to see here...

My new favourite new dad/Rovey!/blaaah joke

My boss said this:

"I made a small fortune in horse racing. Of course, I started off with a large fortune!"

Blaaah!

It's neck and neck

Don't you think it's lol how closely our own poll mirrors the US election?

Plus you look heaps like McCain, and my dad was born in Kenya, so.

Why I'm a fairly annoying guy

OK.

So Al and I are going on a walk the other day; around the Glebe foreshore. It's nice: families, people walking dogs, people jogging etc. Then these three short women walked past and I said to Al, "wow, it really is a small world after all."

...

They turned around.

I nearly killed myself. In retrospect it is ridiculously hilarious but at the time I was like, "Al, I'm only going to make more hilarious/horrifying gaffes as I get older. Are you the whole 'marriage' deal is still cool or would me committing heaps of suicide be more the go?"

I can't get past how often I do this shit, too. I've taken to telling everyone at work that, "we must work at the fattest office in Sydney." I should really stop.

Being me rules. I don't know how I got roped into it!

My favourite thing about the Big Day Out Forum is when people say things like this

"Somehow got roped into DJ'ing at this thing on November 29th with Gus Da Hoodrat.. I have no idea what i'll play to appeal to such a crowd.. i think i will just say fuck it and play dubstep."

BACON.

Bacon: tasty. Eating it: pleasurable.